Last Friday, we kick started our very FIRST BE of the second sem! :D I’m sure we were all fired up from our Friendship Camp in Gopeng, Perak and hungry to know more about God’s word and also to catch up with each other’s lives since then.
The topic for this week was “To Love him, or Him?” It was held at Living Word Centre (LWC) at Sungai Dua this week for a change.
As usual, we started off by praying for the person right next to us. This helps us to get to know each other’s weeks on a deeper level and also to encourage us to pray for each other. Then, Benedict led us in Praise and Worship with songs of declaration like Everyday, What a Friend we have in Jesus, Ku Mau Cinta Yesus and Jesus Lover of my Soul.
After that, Sophia Lim, as the emcee of the day, gave us some quick announcements of upcoming events and Hazel also informed us that the registration for mission trips this sem is now open. J If you are interested in going, the registration link is here. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-kobgNFypSbP1mkit1Oo_yeUxT_XUa4H1BICJdH6DyE/viewform
We were very honoured to have Caroline, our FES staff worker to share with us about this week’s topic; to love him or Him? Simply put, its about romantic relationships. And how it is so important to have a Christian partner
She started off by bringing up a very hot topic in Facebook in the past few days. It was an article about “Why shouldn’t a Christian date a non-Christian?” She then reminded us about the purpose of dating. The whole purpose of dating is to move towards marriage, and that it is not a cure for loneliness or peer pressure. She said that there were some people who asked her, “How far can I go in dating this person?” Her reply was “It’s not how far you can go, it’s how willing you are to keep that person pure until you say your marriage vow.”
In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, Paul writes,
“ 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.”
From these verses, Sis Caroline pointed out that since we are all unmarried, we should be concerned about the things of the Lord. For example, being concerned about people who have not yet heard the Gospel. For guys, they should pay undivided attention to God. For girls, it is how to be holy.
She also shared about one of the most common arguments of individuals who are in a relationship with an unbeliever: Can that person become a believer? Her response was that God never said anything in the bible about missionary dating. Based on 1 Corinthians 7:16-17, she further stated that we are only called to share to others, converting, on the other hand is solely based on the Holy Spirit.
Using King Solomon as a reference, in 1 Kings 11:4, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. She stated that if we replace God in our hearts, it gets closer to idolatry. We might tend to idolise our partners instead of worshipping God.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16a, (a typical verse to bring up in this context), it clearly states that we are not supposed to serve other gods. She further clarified saying that idolatry will come, we have to flee from it. She further emphasized that if you get a partner who is not a Christian, you are replacing God in your life.
Since 2 Corinthians 6:14-16a has the word “yoked” in it, she gave us a demonstration as to what that word actually means. She has us pair up and then place our arm around the shoulder of that person. After we did that, she stated that being “yoked” means to be bonded like that. Both of you have to walk forever in that position. Both of you have to have the same direction; the same goal, in order to work together and to have a lasting relationship.
If Christ is not your goal, where are you heading towards?
Furthermore, she said that love isn’t about changing the person. It’s about accepting he or she for who he really is. She reminded us that when you get into the relationship, it is all about acceptance, not conversion. Relationship is like looking at the mirror 24/7, and seeing your ugly side.
Sis Caroline then illustrated the situation of two hearts in love by holding up 2 pieces of coloured paper that was glued together. Then, if they break up, this is what happens. She then tore the two pieces of paper savagely until this is what remains
From that, she warned us to not wear our heart on our sleeves. Not saying relationship is not good, just be cautious. Don’t stir it up if you’re not ready. Guard your heart, keep your high standards. Speaking of standards, she told us to choose the one most important standard that your future partner MUST have, out of all the standards that you have set. Then reflect on yourself. Make sure that YOU are demonstrating that standard yourself, and not just expecting to see it in your future partner.
She also gave some very motherly advice to the guys. “Don’t flirt, be very cautious with girls.” she said. Good guys treat EVERY girl with extra care.
She also told us to make sure that we have these 3 relationships before even stepping into any kind of romantic relationship.
- Your relationship with the person you are interested in.
– build a good friendship first, get to know each other first.
– if you are really really interested in the person, pray about it and WAIT 6 MONTHS TO A YEAR. God will reveal to you within this time frame if he or she is meant for you or not.
– don’t fall for the idea of the person. Watch, wait and pray.
- Your relationship with the people around you, including your family and friends.
- Your relationship with God.
– Relationship is capturing God’s heart as Abba Father for yourself.
The next question commonly asked about dating non-Christians is this: What if I’m already in one? Sis Caroline answered this question, saying:
Then share with him or her about your life in Christ. Matthew 10:32, Luke 9:26, Mark 8:38. The person has to come to know Christ on his or her own terms. Not because of you. If he or she changes because of you, he or she can change because of someone else.
Another question was: “Can I still come back to God?” The answer is yes, always. Let go of your life and surrender to God. God will still forgive you.
As we draw closer to the end of the sermon, Sis Caroline played a video about an experiment on kids who wait. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR9UWj1q304
Sis Caroline closed by giving us some life advice. For the guys, if you are really interested, ask yourself first. Are you ready for the reality of marriage? Is she? Even with all the weaknesses? Because you will have to live seeing those weaknesses for the rest of your life if you decide to marry her. Example: you will have to live with her squeezing the toothpaste from the middle / top / bottom of the tube.
Another advice she gave all of us in general is to Run After God. Some of us are called for marriage, some are not. No matter what, chase God first. Like a marathon, it is God whom we want to choose. He is at the finishing line, and we are all the runners.
We are thankful for Sis Caroline to be able to share with us during this BE. As a sign of appreciation, we had Jasmin to present the love gift to him after the sharing, on behalf of all the PKA members. It was then followed by a testimony sharing session where Sharon Ho came up and shared her testimony about her history teacher and the consequences of being married to an unbeliever. Then, we closed in prayer and had lunch at Bakti.
Can listen to the recording here :) sorry for the interruption